Rachael Ray nude

| 45 Comments

…not quite. It started with a completely innocent entry about my plan to cook her “60-minute Thanksgiving.” I soon noticed her name popping up in my search engine referrals, and I figured that, okay, there might be a few people out there who fantasize about her in various states of undress, possibly even slathered in EVOO.

Sidenote: For those not “in the know,” Rachael Ray is the host of 30 Minute Meals and $40 a Day on Food Network, and she is the author of at least twenty books:

Anyway, the Rachael Ray floodgates opened when I posted a humorous rundown of the craziest search engine phrases that people type in before stumbling upon my humble site. (I’ll probably make this a regular monthly feature; February already has some doozies.)

In less than one week, 77 visitors arrived here looking for cheesecake photos of Rachael Ray (46 alone were for “rachael ray nude” and 15 for “rachael ray maxim.” (Mmmmm, cheesecake. Is anyone else ticked that Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake ice cream is no longer available in supermarkets? Oh, but I digress. Focus, Michael, focus).

My curiosity was piqued, especially since I know that she was never in Maxim. Yes, I confess that Maxim arrives in my mailbox monthly. I sent away for a free subscription thanks to Ben’s Bargains awhile ago. Trust me, its barely worth the paper its printed on; its frat boy style writing rarely rises above the level of a college humor magazine.

So, anyway, I just had to do the Google search myself. Oh…my…Gawd. Well, I was right that she never posed for Maxim. However, back in October of 2003, it seems she did pose in FHM. Oh…my…Gawd…

The FHM photo layout really has to be seen to be believed (reasonably SFW). At first I was speechless. Then I burst out laughing. Then I was speechless.

Update: Original link with all the pics broken. One of them is still here. Nine of them are linked here. If those are both broken, I would just try a Google Image Search.

Rachael Ray licking a chocolate-covered plastic spoon
I mean…in one she’s pulling a freaking turkey out of the oven, wearing a black lace bra, a miniskirt/apron, and stiletto heels. In another, she’s holding an apple pie while wearing a denim and gingham plaid bustier and micro-mini. In yet another, she’s sitting on a sink counter, dishwashing suds dripping down her legs, and she’s wearing a metal-studded white leather bikini.

The slutty wholesomeness (or wholesome sluttiness) of these pics is so bizarre, I don’t think anyone could keep a straight face while perusing them.

On a serious note, though, such photos beg the question, “Is this all just harmless fun, or does it perpetuate the stereotype that a beautiful woman cannot be taken seriously?” Since I am neither of the above, I can never truly know what it feels like to not be taken seriously based on such factors. I don’t really know if this is empowerment or degradation. I do know that I will have a hard time putting these pictures out of my mind from now on when I watch her cooking shows.

I suppose one positive is that she is demonstrating that a woman with a thick, athletic build in her mid-to-late 30s can be far more beautiful than the emaciated, large breasted Barbie dolls that traditionally define “beauty.”

If these pictures brought a smile to your face, then I have accomplished my goal with this post. You may have noticed that I have been trying lately to combat the February blahs with more humorous entries. I respectfully disagree with T.S. Elliot’s assessment of April as the cruelest month.

Well, I guess it’s a good thing for all concerned that no one came to my blog looking for nude photos of Emeril Lagasse. Bam!

45 Comments

Omigosh, thicker women in their 30s can still be sexy??? There might actually be hope for me yet! LOL :P

Generalizations are dangerous, but as a general rule, I’d say that a woman who looks healthy and obviously takes care of herself (within reason), but still appreciates food (both consumption and preparation) and isn’t afraid to chow down on the occasional Big Mac is a whole lot sexier than a fragile waif who just orders a salad and picks at it.

Ahhh, yes, I remember those pictures. They are absolutely ridiculous, just as you said, very hard to keep a straight face while looking at them. My brother gets Maxim every month and I have to say, I actually like it. Half naked girls doesn’t do much for me, but some of their articles entertain me.

Yeah, I have to admit that I can’t resist flipping through Maxim at least once when it first comes; I definitely wouldn’t pay for it, though/

One of our university’s students posed for Maxim last year, and our school’s newspaper interviewed her.” It was interesting to hear her take on the shoot.

I think she’s hot. For some reason most models don’t seem very attractive to me. I’m more into cute girls who make my pot pie on demand w/ 24 hour service.

That’s Rachael Ray, I think.

Anyways, about her half ass nude shots, it just proves that the #1 seller in the US is sex appeal. It’s obviously only to get more fans to watch her crap (not criticizing it) because if she was really trying to reach “empowerment” then she would at least be NUDE and not in a bra and skirt.

It’s evident this is just for business, not that I am complaining :P GO MAKE ME MY POT PIE

Ah, but one of the key reasons the man who is now Ms. Ray’s fiancé caught her heart was that he is also highly proficient in the kitchen and is probably just as willing to cook her a pot pie on request.

I can’t really imagine that any exposure from this photo shoot translated into an appreciable increase in viewership for her cooking shows or increased sales of her cookbooks. Although, I’m sure she considered whether such a spread would negatively impact her career, I don’t think her reasoning to do it was quite so mercenary. She was probably just flattered by the repeated requests to pose and figured, “What the hell; it might be fun.”

Well, where are the Rachel Raye photos? Your link doesn’t work!

The original archive that I linked to removed the pics because too many people were abusing Google Image Search and/or hotlinking (ooops) to the page.

I found some other links (posted above), but I’m not sure how long they’ll last.

You know, now I kind of feel like a smut peddler—at least it’s clean smut. Add to that my being a bad netizen with the hotlinking—and I feel…kind of…dirty. ;-)

Hi. Sorry I had to delete my Rachael stuff from my site. Your blog was NOT the cause of the major hotlinking and bandwidth usage. It was Google, MySpace users and numerous discussion boards that have all “discovered” Rachael. MySpace seems to have a lot of users who don’t know what “hotlinking” is even though advisories were all over my site. sigh Even though I have hotlinking prevention, the traffic still was out of hand and it had to stop. Bandwidth overage charges are expensive.

Hi, Nick, that was quick. Good to blog-meet you.

Yeah, I guess what I did was more “deep-linking” than “hot-linking.” It’s a shame that you can’t use Google ads or something to defray some of the bandwidth costs (I saw your reasoning for not doing this in your FAQ).

This “discovery” of Rachael cracks me up though; this layout was almost a year and a half ago.

This particular post is completely out of character for this blog, but it was a fun experiment on the nature of search engines and what people search for.

In the last 22 days, 1341 people arrived at my site thanks to searches for Ms. Ray. Small numbers, yes, but in the entire first five months of this site’s existence, only 983 people total arrived via search engine (mostly Bowflex-related).

there’s nothing wrong with being sexy, smart, rich and confident…and she’s poking fun at herself….its obvious she isnt taking these pics too serious…..only fat women or men with small packages would have a problem with this

Caught…actually looking for Rachel Ray…NUDE!!!

…and instead you found the inane ramblings of a 30-something web developer working in academia. Man, what a letdown. ;-)

Just a quick remark about Rachael Ray. She really is just too adorable, she had my heart from the start of her Food Network run. As for the photos, they show nothing more than just a playful sense of humor. I hope my dear little cutie Ms Ray can teach us all to laugh at ourselves, as well as how to cook up a few tasty treats!

Oops, that last comment sat in the approval queue for a couple of days. Comment moderation can be a real pain sometimes. I decided to turn off forced moderation of old entries.

So now, my stats have me a bit confused. On Tuesday, traffic to this site suddenly quintupled (2585 unique visitors), and most of those extra visitors were coming to this entry page. Did I miss something?

It’s funny, the stuff that drives blog-hopping. I was checking out foodblogs and one thing led to another , and suddenly I’m reading a heck of a lot of chatter about Rachael Ray. Evidently there’s a cottage industry there; people seem to either love her or despise her.

WhatEVer. FWIW, those photos can still be seen here

Thanks for hopping by, and thanks for the updated link.

That Slate article was quite interesting. Wow, the author of that vicious RR Sux page mentioned in the article really, really should refocus her journalling talents (and let go of the hate).

So what if she’s not a “serious” gourmet; so what if she’s a little goofy and doesn’t take herself too seriously at times—her book sales and ratings indicate she must be doing something right.

I agree with the Slate article, though. Her 30-minute meals are tough to actually prepare in 30 minutes or less.

I think Rachel Ray is a pretty. She is not scared to eat. She has a great personality and I know a lot of people want to see her naked. Maybe someday she will get naked, probably not fully naked but wear like reveling clothes. So to the guys that dream about her don’t give up luck yet! GO RACHEL RAY! Oh yeah there is a site where there is people that hate rachel but they are just jealous! RACHEL RAY ROCKS!

I’d love to show her my turkey baster

Grumble. Comments like these cause me to seriously question my policy of only censoring spammer comments or blatantly malicious comments. :-b

rachel ray i love you show us your tits

Since seeing Rachel Ray’s show, I knew she was the type of female for me. Cute, funny, giggly and can she cook! It was by accident I found out she posed in FHM some time ago. Gotta find that back issue. If she ever posed nude, tastefully of course, I’d buy every copy of that magazine I could find. Imagine her cooking you a hot, HOT, meal in your kitchen wearing only the barest of clothes. Like only an apron! Watch the hot stove honey. She just may be every man’s dream. Well, mine at least. Hope she stays on the tv a while longer. Just another admiring fan. I’ll stock up on the EVOO.

she is a very hot female, wowwwww!

I’m with Hank on this. I’ve been watching her show for some time, not for her cooking of course. Her ass is too perfect. Nothing wrong with a little extra cushion for the push’en. I’m a little disappointed in the FHM pics though, too much air-brushing.

hey rachel, im your number 1 fan. i drink beer aand watch your show. i ate a bird i found today in the woods. i cooked it on my george foreman grill. rachel why wont you come make out in my room with me. i pour chicken grease all over me. why wont you wear a bikini when you do your show. rachel your face is like a big smiley onion to me. i live behind the burger king if you want to stop by and eat out of the dumpster with me. just watch out for the racoons. they try to bite ya….
bye your #1 fan, pete wilson

…uh…

The views and opinions expressed in this blog’s comments are those of the comment author and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, and/or fetishes of notMike.com’s primary author or those of notMike.com’s parent corporation.

;-)

I dont know what to make of rachel she is definintly sexy and hot in those fhm pics. at times i think she would be a cute fun girl to hang out with but other times she seems to be a combination of a snooty nerd, then at times she tries too hard to act the stereotypical east coast italian which comes across kinda weird .she may be east coast italian but not the sterotypical type which she trys to be.

Hey Rachel, Sorry it took so long for me to write back. They wont let me in the library no more because i fell asleep on the couch. They also said i was taking a bath in the sink but i wasnt. I build a house in the woods out of sticks and old rugs. the bugs im pete wilson i like tooo watch your show and i cook along with you. last nite i cooked these little worms that i dug from the ground. They smoked and popped like little jitter-bugs. they were good and you said your food was good too so i think we should go on a date rachel please you little cream puff. ill meet you at the underpass and ill show you where i live. maybe i can cook you something special, see you soon…

-Pete wilson

Rachel is on one the more talented and for sure one of the most entertaining chefs on TV today…..and she is as sweet as a button …love her

I used to like Rachael, now I’m on to Kari from Mythbusters as my favorite TV looker…

im glad that shes making something of her life and not getting pregnant and having kids pursuing her culinary career and making something of her self now a days girls are laying around and not doing anything this world is turning away from god

Of course, I’m just another man who not only loves to cook but is also quite infatuated with pretty Miss Rachel Ray. She’s smart. She’s sweet and she likes to cook and have fun doing the kinds of things that regular people like to do. For instance, it sure would be great to go on a short day hike with Rachel in one of the Phoenix area mountain parks then, back to her place for a hearty and healthy dinner. What a thoughtful woman she is…. It sure would be fun helping her make that meal too. To share some wine while I massage her tired feet and listen to all of her thoughts. I think one of the things I like about Rachel so much is that she comes across as a beautiful but approachable and considerate woman. I think she certainly would make a wonderful girlfriend or wife for a good man who just wants to be with a kind woman. I know. This is so silly writing about a TV cooking show host but Rachel Ray is also a very real and a very lovely woman. My wife has many of the same qualities. I’ve been married so long that I nearly forgot how much fun she was. Thanks for the reminder Rachel.

Sincerely, Joe.

Wow, much love for Ms. Ray in the comments. It’s funny how this page took on a life of its own over the past year.

On a related note, since it is vastly inferior to the original, I have only watched one or two episodes of Iron Chef America,” but I do think that I will tune in to the season three premiere on February 26 just to see how Rachael does in Kitchen Stadium.

Rachael Is a VERY HOT Person ;-) I love to watch her Tv show she seems like a pretty smart individual as well and whom ever she spends her life with is a Very Lucky man I think and I wish I were that man I’m her #1 fan and I think I will always be that also :-) I love you Rachael

i think she is hot and i would want to fuck her in the ass and let her suck my cock and we would have sex for about as long as she wants it i would love her to come to pa to have sex with her.

i masterbate to her almost every time i see her.

She is not hot at all, her shows are suck!!!! she talks like she has been smoking pot for long time, she is a big mass after all.

Wow - My mom likes Rachael Ray. Some of you guys are crazy. Props to you, Michael, the owner of this site, for keeping your cool. Need to censor some of these people though - they’re going to start a sex chat in here.

I know how you guys feel about Rachael Ray. I have also been watching her show for quite some time now. I think she is one of the most beautiful women on tv these days. And yes, Michael, I did stumble upon your site looking for pics of Ms. Ray. I’m not a sick pervert, I just wanted to see if she had maybe done someting like this, and she has. Mad props to her and I hope her carrier keeps up as long as her fans put up with her, I know I will. Her show is the best on FoodNetwork next to Good Eats which is just a funny show. But I love Racheal Ray and (not trying to sound like a wierd stalker or lonely person who cries himself to sleep) but I do feel somewhat jealous of her husband (or fiance, I don’t know). But I do hope that he makes her happy. I mean I wish I were him. Man… Sorry about rambling on like this I just needed to get some things of my chest because I know my friends would think that I’m wierd or crazy if I talked like this, but I’m not. Rachael Ray, I love you…lol. Michael, good job holding up this site I wish you good luck with it.

Hmm. I may have taken a bit of a sabbatical from my blog, but the Rachel Ray craziness on this page continues on. For awhile I have thought about the same thing Heather mentions—censoring some of the comments.

However, while I would like for my blog to continue to be at least somewhat “family friendly,” I dislike censorship, and I would like to avoid it if possible (spam comments and truly mean-spirited comments excepted). So for now, cory’s explicit comments (for example) survive the delete button.

I really do wonder if Rachel has ever Googled herself and come across this page? I would hope that after she got over the initial feeling of being a bit creeped out by a few of the comments, she would bust a gut laughing, esp. after reading “Pete’s.”

doooooood… ray == SHEXEH!

lol

She is SO hot!

i look for 2 have sex with her she look good i wantthinki could have a cahnce? you think???

dude what the f*** i wanted to see her naked you suck

Well, it was fun while it lasted, but I’d say it’s about time I closed the comments on this entry. Dude.