…not quite. It started with a completely innocent entry about my plan to cook her “60-minute Thanksgiving.” I soon noticed her name popping up in my search engine referrals, and I figured that, okay, there might be a few people out there who fantasize about her in various states of undress, possibly even slathered in EVOO.
Sidenote: For those not “in the know,” Rachael Ray is the host of 30 Minute Meals and $40 a Day on Food Network, and she is the author of at least twenty books:
Anyway, the Rachael Ray floodgates opened when I posted a humorous rundown of the craziest search engine phrases that people type in before stumbling upon my humble site. (I’ll probably make this a regular monthly feature; February already has some doozies.)
In less than one week, 77 visitors arrived here looking for cheesecake photos of Rachael Ray (46 alone were for “rachael ray nude” and 15 for “rachael ray maxim.” (Mmmmm, cheesecake. Is anyone else ticked that Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake ice cream is no longer available in supermarkets? Oh, but I digress. Focus, Michael, focus).
My curiosity was piqued, especially since I know that she was never in Maxim. Yes, I confess that Maxim arrives in my mailbox monthly. I sent away for a free subscription thanks to Ben’s Bargains awhile ago. Trust me, its barely worth the paper its printed on; its frat boy style writing rarely rises above the level of a college humor magazine.
So, anyway, I just had to do the Google search myself. Oh…my…Gawd. Well, I was right that she never posed for Maxim. However, back in October of 2003, it seems she did pose in FHM. Oh…my…Gawd…
The FHM photo layout really has to be seen to be believed (reasonably SFW). At first I was speechless. Then I burst out laughing. Then I was speechless.
The slutty wholesomeness (or wholesome sluttiness) of these pics is so bizarre, I don’t think anyone could keep a straight face while perusing them.
On a serious note, though, such photos beg the question, “Is this all just harmless fun, or does it perpetuate the stereotype that a beautiful woman cannot be taken seriously?” Since I am neither of the above, I can never truly know what it feels like to not be taken seriously based on such factors. I don’t really know if this is empowerment or degradation. I do know that I will have a hard time putting these pictures out of my mind from now on when I watch her cooking shows.
I suppose one positive is that she is demonstrating that a woman with a thick, athletic build in her mid-to-late 30s can be far more beautiful than the emaciated, large breasted Barbie dolls that traditionally define “beauty.”
If these pictures brought a smile to your face, then I have accomplished my goal with this post. You may have noticed that I have been trying lately to combat the February blahs with more humorous entries. I respectfully disagree with T.S. Elliot’s assessment of April as the cruelest month.
Well, I guess it’s a good thing for all concerned that no one came to my blog looking for nude photos of Emeril Lagasse. Bam!