“You’re getting too skinny.”
I’m sure many of you out there who are struggling with your own personal fitness programs would give anything to hear those words, and I must admit that the first couple of times, I responded with a smile and a mumbled affirmative response. I am also sure that there are many among you who have experienced, at your own workplaces, those who make the same comment over and over again in a joking fashion as a substitute for small talk.
It can eventually get old, even for someone with thick skin, especially when such a comment picks at a sensitive area like body image. There are three ladies at work (heavyset, middle-aged) who did this for more than a month every time I saw them by the coffee machine, in front of the elevator, etc. They sort of stopped after I once responded with a distant coldness on a day that I felt particularly crappy. However, this past Thursday, yet another woman made the same comment when I dropped by her office to drop off a purchase receipt.
These are all incredibly nice women, and no malice was intended. They may have, in some way, meant for it to be a complement, but it still bugged me. I have never been happy with they way my body has looked. I reached rock bottom and worked my ass off (literally) to get back to a healthy body weight. I have maintained my weight between 182 and 186 and size 30-32 jeans for close to two months, so I am in no danger of wasting away to nothing…so why the “too skinny” comments?
Oh well, I did the weight loss thing for myself, and I am reasonably happy with my progress. I know that I’m not perfect (yet), but I am not obsessing about it. Monday, though, I have to return to the Bowflex after more than a month and a half of laziness. It is finally time to evict Mr. Lovehandles to allow Mr. Washboard to move in.
I think most people probably DO think that “too skinny” is a compliment, not understanding that it can be just as cutting as “too fat”. As long as you’re happy and your doctor’s happy, let everyone else’s comments roll off your back. (Easier said than done, though, isn’t it?)
Yup, easier said than done.
As for the “as long as your doctor’s happy” part…I knew I was forgetting something. One of these days I really should drag my butt to a doctor. I have full medical, which includes a yearly physical, but have yet to even use it.
I always get the “your too skinny” comments even though i weigh about 190 pounds! I was about 50 pounds heavier about 3 years ago and I dont really struggle to maintain my weight. I dont know why people who are generally out-of-shape to make those types of comments. I never say, “your too fat” or “you should really lose some weight”. This country has a serious problem with obesity and I shouldn’t be shunned for not being part of “the norm”….
I really wonder what does constitute “the norm” these days…
I agree with Denise’s earlier suggestion that people think that “too skinny” is a complement and thus safe territory for commenting. Problem is that body image can be such a sensitive area either because maintaining a healthy weight is often such a struggle and/or because self-image is often too closely tied to self-worth.