Search engines & blog logs 2

Another month has passed, so it is time for a second perusal of the search engine referrals for notMike.com. Last month’s installment produced decidedly unexpected results. Mere mentioning of a certain female cooking show host inexplicably put my humble blog at the number one and number two spots out of 65,300 Google results for r****** r** nude.

As a result, 2,265 people dropped by, looking for countless variations on that theme. While that was certainly fun for awhile, I don’t think that I will be mentioning her name again.

A total of 122 visitors were looking for nude pics and info about the Bowflex grandmother. Come on people, she’s in her 50s, and she’s someone’s grandma. Oh well, I guess when I age a couple of decades, I’ll think differently.

So what else brought people by during February, besides the usual phrases that brought ’em in last month?

• how to write a secret admirer note
  I’m torn on this one. I would probably advise against it altogether. On the other hand, I will probably keep and cherish the one I received last December for a long time to come.
• trouble socializing never dated
  I feel your pain. Really.
• feel the rain on my face
  …taste the rain on my lips; in the moonlight shadow.
• male bulges pics secretly taken
  One really has to hate those camera phones.
• absolutist view of abortion
  An absolutist view of anything is a bad thing. Oh, wait. That statement was kind of absolutist. Never mind.
• washboard stomach photo
  Not yet. Washboard stomachs sure are hard to develop.
• photo soldier kitten m16
  Firearms and cute, furry animals? Interesting.
• random gross nude pics
  Why would anyone search for this?
• princeton sucks
  Hey, them’s fightin’ words!
• men are better at math and science
  President Summers? Thanks for stopping by.
• pred forte stings
  Just at first. Once your eyes heal, it doesn’t sting.
• quotes about friendship men and women
  No comment.
• she ll hear me out and won t easily be converted lyrics
  “Somebody” is such a good song.
• nude cheesecake
  Mmmm, cheescake. I’ll take it nude, slathered in chocolate, drizzled with caramel, dripping with cherries.
• homemade battle royale collars
  Wow, it looks like like someone is really having problems with their students (explanation).
• what happened to chocolate cheesecake godiva ice cream
  Thank you. Why would they dare take such a delectable flavor off of the market.
• cooking to hook up progressive girl
  You know, I still haven’t had an occasion to use that book.
• mac iisi
  That was a great little computer, and it was only $4600. I am still paying for it thanks to educational loans.
• plan b contraception and religion
  This is one area where “religion” really needs to compromise. BTW, even though emergency contraception is no substitute for condoms (one in three Americans has a sexually transmitted infection), here are two web sites that can’t be linked to enough. For information about emergency contraception, visit ec.princeton.edu. US residents can get prescription requests for emergency contraception completed within 2-8 hours, 7 days a week at getthepill.com.
• caught nude pics from photocopy machine
  I couldn’t in a million years imagine doing this at my workplace.

Well, the results this month weren’t quite as humorous as I thought they would be. I guess February isn’t a very funny month.