My monthly perusal of my blog’s search logs (complete with snarky comments) was delayed a bit, so without further ado…
- r****** r**
At least 3,140 visitors came by in March to look for pics and info about a certain vivacious cooking show host. I wonder if Rachael, herself, has ever been by. - exercises to remove lovehandles
I have had tremendous success with Ellington Darden’s book, The Bowflex Body Plan. He wrote another book called A Flat Stomach ASAP that might help you out (I haven’t read it, though). - ben jerry chocolate therapy
Yummy! I need more therapy. Damn, you, lovehandles! Damn, you! - free male bulges
…only if you ask nicely. - clear shade creek
A visitor from my childhood home—cool! - robot chicken commercial song
Ba-bawk, bawk, bawk. Ba-bawk, bawk, bawk. Ba-bawk, bawk, bawka, bawka, bawk, bawk, bawk. [Repeat] (Well, that’s the closing song, at least.) - religion media representation monty python -grail -holy
Let’s all sing along now—“Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great…” - blurriness 2 weeks after enhancement
The blurriness goes away in time, thankfully. Your eyes will be back to normal in no time. - i owe it to myself
Yes, you do, dammit. - bowflex grandma sex
I am sure she has it; however, I doubt she posts pictures of it on the internet. - brad pitt pubic hair photo
Ewwwwwwww! - faux motivational posters
Despair.com—As an April Fools prank, I printed out a rather amusing, but harsh, demotivational saying about Failure and taped it over a disgustingly “motivational” Success poster at work. - army male bulges
Looks like someone is doing a research paper on the Ardennes Offensive. - writing inner monologue
Sometimes my inner monologue has a mind of his own. - abnormally large pupils
You know what they say about guys with large pupils…(their eyes are much more sensitive to high-order aberrations in the shape of the cornea). - never been tied up
Me neither. It was highly recommended by one of my readers, so I guess if the opportunity ever presents itself… - nude woman cooking in apron
If I was a Freudian, I’d say this person has mother issues, but I’m not. - why am i still single
Tell me about it. For me, I think that it’s a combination of my having the worst timing in the world and always going after the wrong woman. - human being cannot get pregnant from a neanderthal
I’m sure there are quite a few women out there who may beg to differ. - fishisms
“Everyone is alone. It’s just easier to take in a relationship.”
“Make enough money and everything else will follow.”
“I couldn’t help but overhear, probably because I was eavesdropping.”
“You’ve got to remember, you’re not who you are. You’re only what other people think of you.”
- pop up backlash
Die, pop-ups, die! - google fired a worker for chronicling daily life at the search-engine in a little too much detail
That would be Mark Jen. He got dooced! - 8 inches of pain
Ow. - 24 four inch of pain
Ow. Ow. Ow. - mike rage
Michael rage too. Rrrrrooowww! Michael smash! - i did not do anything….
Okay, I believe you. - lil nude girl illegal
nude pics of days little girl sixteen under
very young girl nude
Get some help. Seriously. Please, seek psychological counseling. - not inspired to write anything creative
I hope that you left here inspired. (S***, I know I can write better than this notMike hack.) - a list of food the europeans eat
I’m sure “the europeans” eat a wide range of things. Still, can any of you Europeans out there help this poor searcher out? - klezmer
There are like 1.8 million Google results for Klezmer. How did you find your way here? Well, I might as well plug a klezmer band that counts among its members someone from my alumni class (P99) and a fellow Princeton employee—The Klez Dispensers. - yale sucks song
There’s a song? - longing is like the seed
Yes, it is, but sometimes you just need to stop watering it and let it die. - nude mercenary
Something tells me that he or she wouldn’t be all that effective—too many floppy body parts getting in the way. - girl masturbated beside computer gallery
…and I would say that it’s time to quit while I’m ahead for this month.
I love the comments you add.
Glad you enjoyed them. I had toyed with the idea of writing a story using the search terms (like Profgrrrrl and Rana did), but the goofy comments are just way too much fun.