I realized that I needed a new pair of swimming trunks for my trip to Hawai‘i (Monday is fast approaching). The ones in my drawer are for a man with a 36-38 waist. He’s gone, and he’s never coming back.
Unfortunately, I didn’t make as much progress during the last month as I had hoped. Well, I did make some progress; my arms and chest are a tad bit larger. But I could kick myself for slacking off for the first three months of the year. Oh well, I guess I should be grateful for what I did accomplish, rather than dwell on what I failed to accomplish.
A fly on the wall of the fitting room would have died laughing, though. Alrighty, then…the medium Tommy Hilfigers were too big; let’s try the small. Puff out chest. Suck in gut. Ah, damn it. If only I could suck in the parts of my gut that hang off to the side. Oh well. Puff out the chest a bit more. Nope, these ones make my butt look big.
You know, I really hope there wasn’t anyone who tried on the same trunks I did “commando.” Yes, they’re getting laundered today, but still…
Anyway, I finally settled for a pair of turquoise Polo trunks that are so unabashedly preppie that they are almost a parody of preppieness. Just one embroidered Polo horse guy wasn’t enough. Oh, no. Instead a veritable army of little yellow Polo logos adorn these trunks like polka-dots. I figure they’ll draw attention away from what my culinary indiscretions have wrought.
I figure they’ll draw attention away from what my culinary indiscretions have wrought.
Bah…That’s what the loose-fitting, garishly colored Hawaiian shirt is for!
whoa—it’s actually somewhat of a relief to know dudes go through the same swimsuit agony as chicks.
Ah! The garish Hawaiian shirt. I definitely have to get me a couple of those to bring back. And maybe some other touristy stuff like a pooka shell necklace.
Well, at least this particular dude certainly does, Krista. I think insecurity about body image is pretty widespread across both genders.
Different problem areas for guys, though. More frontal fat. Potbelly and love handles versus hips, upper thighs, etc.
Have fun in Hawaii! I’m so jealous :) And, I’m sure you look great in the new trunks - enjoy!
Thanks, Jenniy. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures (and post the best ones here). There’s not gonna be any pictures of yours truly in those trunks, though. :-)