Two days ago I stood up my therapist. Actually, scratch that. The “my” part bugs me. He wasn’t my therapist; he was just some guy I wasted six hours of my life with.
As part of our health plan, we have the option of six free therapy sessions. I figured “what the hey.” This would have been my seventh session. The first one for which I would have incurred an out-of-pocket expense. I decided it wasn’t worth it. Unfortunately, I may still get charged for this one because I never bothered to cancel. Oh well.
During each session, the topic of conversation always drifted back to one person. One incident. One string of incidents. I’m sick of talking about that. I’m sick of thinking about that.
No amount of therapy will make right what happened. Therapy won’t help me come to terms with what that person did to me. This is something best left to time—and the peace that only fading memory can facilitate.
Instead I decided upon a pint of Chocolate Therapy. It’s not something I really needed, but I had two weeks of good workouts, damn it.
sometimes time is the only thing that really helps, I hope it works for you :) As for the chocolate, I say anything that helps is ok!
Time, chocolate (in moderation, of course), and—in this case—geographical distance…
I had planned on leaving New Jersey more than a year ago, but then I got distracted (by a woman, of course). Now the longer I stay in my current situation, the more I feel suffocated, trapped.
My life right now feels like a gigantic tar pit.
The one bright spot has been that I was finally able to get my weight under control this past year. Now I have to get the rest of my life under control.
Perhaps a different therapist would have been more successful? (Not to take anything away from chocolate therapy, of course!)
A different therapist might help, but it was one thing when it was free, but right now therapy is a luxury I can ill afford.
Plus, I’ve always been someone who was extremely reluctant to go to a doctor for my physical ailments (no fear or anything, just never felt it was worth the bother)—so for me to go to a doctor for mental “ailments” was really out of character.
No, I am thinking more and more strongly that I really need to “reboot” my life, and that reboot needs to take place outside the confines of the Toxic Garden State.
There’s always Japan. I can say from experience that it is a fairly effective way to make a clean break from your current (and my former) employer, and your life moving in new directions.
(Although our friends across the courtyard might be able to hook you up with Kazhakstan…)
You know, Rob, one of the reasons I came back here was to refocus my life after the disastrous implosion of my last job and to get myself out of debt so that I could have the freedom to do something wild like the JET program, PiA, or even the Peace Corps.
Unfortunately, I now find myself with such a crippling level of debt that I would be afraid to embark on any kind of internship.
Ack. Thpppt!
It is awesome, though, that your stint in Japan thanks to JET is working out so well.